It’s been a long time since I’ve been obsessed about a book. Ironically, it’s a book about obsession – about compulsive eating, something I’ve struggled with most of my adult life. Most people who have eating problems have read something by Geneen Roth – the women’s compulsive eating guru – but this is my first time. I bought, Women Food and God because it was on sale and someone had suggested I read it. That was some time ago. I’ve carried it with me on occasion, but never opened it till now. I guess it’s time.
It was so refreshing to read something about food and spirituality that is so clearly written, articulating things that have been swimming around the edges of my awareness, but without form or syntax. What Roth says is so common sense – “Compulsive eating is a way we distance ourselves from the way things are when they are not how we want them to be“ (p.37). They are not how we want them to be because we carry stories we’ve learned from the past as if they were true in the present. Compulsive eaters suffer from “anorexia of the soul” (p.37). The basic challenge of compulsive eating is acceptance – willingness to discover the ways we are glued to the past and let them go – instead celebrating the beauty of who we are in the present. Food, according to Roth, is a wonderful tool to bring ourselves into our true spiritual selves – it can link us to that which we find most sacred, our connection to the larger universe.
The last page of the book lists her “Eating Guidelines” (p. 211).
1. Eat when you are hungry
2. Eat sitting down in a calm environment. This does not include the car.
3. East without distraction. Distractions include radio, television, newspapers, books, intense or anxiety-producing conversations or music.
4. Eat what your body wants.
5. Eat until you are satisfied.
6. Eat (with the intention of being) in full view of others
7. Eat with enjoyment, gusto and pleasure.
So here I sit on July 5, having gorged myself beyond discomfort at a July 4th barbecue, having just reread all my highlights from my first read-through. I want to follow the sensations in my body, discover the old stories that keep me locked in an unnecessary struggle (according to Roth!), and wondering how long it will take me to let go of whatever my obsession is determined to have me avoid. Can I really give up my lunch-time reading; or my writing-time snacking? I found hope on page 74: “Of this I am certain: something happens every time I stop fighting with the way things are.”
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