David Beliner, my nephew is Jewish. His wife Kelley was raised Catholic. I was so honored when they asked me to officiate their ceremony. I loved how I got to introduce parts of the Jewish wedding tradition to folks who were not familiar with them. And how I could provide some familiarity for folks who weren’t quite sure what they would experience out in the woods! The photo on my ‘About’ page was taken as Kelley and David were about to make their vows.
David Berliner and Kelley Walter
May 18, 2013
Thorpewood, Thurmont, MD
©Reverend Patti A Pomerantz
Welcome and Instructions
On behalf of David and Kelley and the Walter and Berliner families, I bid you welcome to Kelley and David’s wedding. A few housekeeping matters: please take this time to silence anything that beeps, chirps, rings, buzzes, or plays your favorite song.
At the end of the ceremony, after the wedding party leaves, please return to your cars to be directed to the Lodge. Be patient and the wedding party will join you there for the wedding party.
Finally a word about some of the ritual you will see. When David &Kelley are ready to make their vows, they will stand under a large prayer shawl which belonged to David’s grandfather. It’s traditional to have a canopy or Chuppah at Jewish weddings. It can symbolize many things – ask five Jews, you’ll get at least seven different explanations. But I like to see it as a reminder of the hospitality of the first Jewish home – Abraham’s tent which like the Chuppah is open on all sides to welcome all travelers. David and Kelley have this hospitality and as they honor David’s sabba – grandfather, they honor all their relatives who are not here today. Let us take a moment to think of and honor them.
After they make their vows, and exchange rings –Kelley and David will break a glass. And you will all shout Mazel Tov – which means congratulations. As with the chuppah there are many interpretations of this ritual. Since I’m doing the ceremony, my interpretation is the vows they have just made together will be as difficult to break as it would be to reconstruct this broken glass.
To The Gathered Community
David and Kelley are extraordinary individuals; today we hold up their sense of commitment to one another – and that comes from another of their shared strengths – their sense of family. This marriage is as much an expression of that sense of family as it is a testimony of their love and commitment to one another.
This is not just a blending of families, it is a blending of religious traditions as well – a sacrament which Kelley and David hold in their hearts with love and respect. This weekend marks the vigil of Pentecost in the Catholic Church 50 days after Easter. But before it was a Christian holiday, it was the Jewish celebration of Pentecost 50 days after the Jewish holiday of Passover – which was the scene of the Last Supper – which became the Christian ritual of Communion. This is not meant as a theology lesson – it is more a theological representation of how David and Kelley blend their different family histories into a fabric of welcome. I know this, because I just experienced it this weekend as I met Kelley’s family for the first time and watched our families blend almost seamlessly. This is this couple’s gift to all of us – bringing two families from different countries, different walks of life, different religions to make one family joined together in their love for David and Kelley.
Each of you here today is part of this new family. And your role in their marriage does not end with this grand celebration. You are part of past and future, known and unknown. It is you they invited to share their joy today and their joys to come; it is also to you they will turn when times are difficult. You must be there for them – steadfast in your love, and wise in your counsel. Your place, too, is sealed with their vows. Do not shy away.
I invite you now into the spirit of prayer, as Kelley’s brothers Nathan and Matthew read from Paul’s Letter to the inhabitants of Corinth.
READING: Nathan and Matthew
If I speak in the tongues of mortals and of angels, but do not have love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give away all my possessions, and if I hand over my body so that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.
Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
Love never ends. But as for prophecies, they will come to an end; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will come to an end. For we know only in part, and we prophesy only in part; but when the complete comes, the partial will come to an end.
When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child; when I became an adult, I put an end to childish ways. For now we see in a mirror, dimly, but then we will see face to face. Now I know only in part; then I will know fully, even as I have been fully known.
Both: And now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; and the greatest of these is love.
To Kelley and David
And now I have some things to say to you, Kelley and David. Marriage begins in the giving of words and continues as a journey of discovery. It is a lifelong exploration of what loving means, a lifelong exploration of another person who will always be a mystery in some ways. Before you give your word, I have two reminders for you about this married life you are about to begin.
Remember that you are each yourselves, individuals, yet deeply connected to each other. We all are, pretty much, what we are. Bumps and bruises, as well as the incredible beauty of a smile and the loveliness of gentle touch are what we are. Bad moods, unreasonable expectations, wounds that are deep and unspeakable are what we are as much as the clarity of love, wonderful insight and the constancy of companionship. Remember to treasure each other for both the strengths you bring to this marriage and the hurt places which you each bear inside. Love the strength. Love the wounded parts. Love all of each other.
Remember to marry each other every day. Marriage isn’t an event that happens and is done. This wedding began long before you came before your family and friends to announce your love and to make promises to each other. And the hard work of living out the promises begins after the toasts are over and the photographer’s flash has faded from your eyes. Every day you will be choosing again to be married to each other, in the ways that you relate, the decisions that you make, and how you live your lives together. Each day is a choice that you continue to make.
Mindful of this, David and Kelley are you ready to speak the vows you wrote together?
SHEVA BRACHOT: Betty and Asaf
Betty and Asaf, David’s aunt and uncle will share part of the Sheva Brachot, the marriage blessings.
The Seven Blessings are a key part of a traditional Jewish wedding ceremony. The blessings are adapted from ancient rabbinic teachings, beginning with the blessing over the wine and ending with a communal expression of joy…
The Seventh Blessing brings the couple to rejoice together, united in gladness, surrounded by 10 shades of joy and a chorus of jubilant voices.
.7. בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה יְ-יָ אֱלֹהֵ-ינוּ מֶלֶךְ הָעוֹלָם, אֲשֶׁר בָּרָא שָׂשׂוֹן וְשִׂמְחָה, חָתָן וְכַלָּה, גִּילָה רִנָּה דִּיצָה וְחֶדְוָה, אַהֲבָה וְאַחֲוָה שָׁלוֹם וְרֵעוּת, מְהֵרָה יְ-יָ אֱלֹהֵ-ינוּ יִשָּׁמַע בְּעָרֵי יְהוּדָה וּבְחוּצוֹת יְרוּשָׁלָיִם, קוֹל שָׂשׂוֹן וְקוֹל שִׂמְחָה, קוֹל חָתָן וְקוֹל כַּלָּה, קוֹל מִצְהֲלוֹת חֲתָנִים מֵחֻפָּתָם, וּנְעָרִים מִמִּשְׁתֵּה נְגִינָתָם: בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה יְ-יָ, מְשַׂמֵּחַ חָתָן עִם הַכַּלָּה.
[Transliteration: Baruch ata Adonai Eloheinu melech ha-olam, asher bara sason v’simcha chatan v’kallah, gilah rinah ditzah v’chedvah, ahavah v’achavah v’shalom v’reut. M’hera Adonai Eloheinu yishammah b’arei Yhudah uv-chutzot Y’rushalayim kol sason v’kol simcha, kol chatan v’kol kalah, kol mitzhalot chatanim meichupatam u-n’arim mimishte n’ginatam. Baruch ata Adonai, m’sameiach chatan im hakalah.]
Translation: “Blessed are You, LORD, our God, Ruler of the universe, Who created joy and gladness, loving couples, mirth, glad song, delight, love, loving communities, peace and companionship. Adonai, our God, let there soon be heard in the cities of Judah and the streets of Jerusalem the sound of joy and the sound of gladness, the voice of the loving couple, the sound of their jubilance from their canopies and of the youths from their song-filled feasts. Blessed are You Who causes the couple to rejoice, one with the other.
CHUPPA
And now Nathan and Matthew, Leo and David will you bring the CHUPPAH
VOWS
Kelley
do you Kelley take David as your best friend, your partner, your husband;
do you promise to laugh and smile with him, and also support and comfort him;
to be patient and understanding with him;
to be honest, respectful and faithful to him;
(to provide him with your delicious baked goods);
to love him and love life with him;
completely and forever; If so, please say ‘I do’
Dave
do you David take Kelley as your best friend, your partner, your wife;
do you promise to laugh and smile with her, and also support and comfort her;
to be patient and understanding with her;
to be honest, respectful and faithful to her;
(to provide her with your delicious baked goods);
to love her and love life with her;
completely and forever; If so, please say ‘I do’
Rings
Repeated after me as they place the rings.
I give you this ring,// which has no beginning and no end,// as a sign of these vows.
Pronouncement and Introduction
Will you please seal these vows with a kiss?
By speaking vows to one another and sealing them with ring, kiss, and in a moment shattered glass, it is my joy and my honor to pronounce you married.
Friends and family, Kelley and David Berliner.
Break the Glass // Mazel Tov
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